Finished the book and all I have to say is WOW! The things I misunderstood about marriage…well, let’s just say that my eyes have been opened.
The actual divorce rate in America is something much closer to 30% than the 50% projection that we have been fed for decades. The divorce rate of second and third marriages, long thought to be 60% and 73% is a total fabrication…from out of thin air. In fact, there is some evidence that second and third marriages may actually divorce at a lower rate than first marriages. What the “experts” look at is single women. So, the thought process goes, if women are single later in life they must have been married and divorced. Never once do those experts think that the women in second marriages might be widowed rather than divorced. Since women generally live longer than men, AND the marriage started later in life, it makes that many of these women are, in fact, widowed.
Some of the factors that increase marital longevity are things like:
Having hope… worshiping together… praying together… doing things together…
Every survey ever done indicated that 97% of the folks in a marriage believe the best about their spouse and want the best for them. In other words, they care for one another…genuinely care even if they are in conflict. Additionally, approximately 80% of couples are happy in their marriage, with 30%+ being very happy. AND, of those couples who are in conflict if they stick it out, most will reach a state of happiness within 5 years.
The divorce rate is all in the way you look at numbers. For example, in a church if 20 couples get married and 10 couples divorce, the divorce rate must be 50%, right? Wrong! It depends on how large the congregation is. If there are 500 couples in the church the divorce rate is 2% (10 / 500).
Over the weekend I had the opportunity to visit our new hospital’s emergency room. It was very informative. I woke up Friday morning with NO balance and vomiting about every half hour. After a day of this, my wife dragged me to emergency. They took an MRI, ran test, took blood and urine and generally fussed over me.
In the end, at about 2 in the morning Saturday, they announced that they could find no reason for my maladies and sent me home. That is when I realized they are just PRACTICING. They don’t really know.
Medicine has become a ‘rule out’ game. They ‘ruled out’ a stroke with the MRI. They ‘ruled out’ other issues with the blood and urine. They labeled my a “FALL RISK” and let me go…how reassuring.
On Monday I went to see my primary doctor. Whether or not it was right I don’t know, but she suggested I had experienced a vertigo event. Finally, an answer…an answer that may have said no more that “I’m just PRACTICING medicine…
An aside: What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom for their medical schools class…Doctor!
Recently I have been reading a new book by Shaunti Feldhahn called
‘The Good New About Marriage’.
I have to say there is really Good News for sure. We have been told for decades now that the divorce rate is 50%. Well, it turn out that 50% is a PROJECTION of what the rate should be if the conditions that occurred in the ’80s held true. They have not. The divorce rate has actually declined since its peak in the early ’80s.
The real divorce rate is something much closer to 15%…15%! Wow that is really good news. AND if a couple is in a troubled marriage, the single most exciting thing that can save that marriage is HOPE. Not hope by both parties, but just one of them.
What’s more, almost 80% of those marriages are HAPPY. Happily married people are more likely to stay married.
More factoids and info as I get further through the book…
Welcome to His Staff, an informational and inspirational website. Going forward content will be added on a semi-regular basis as the need arises. Why His Staff…
But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light – Peter 2:9